yday's meetup was more like a reminiscence of my worst pain of this abyss..
admitted that i've thought what u are seeing, & worried abt what u are doubtful of.
yet i wishfully seeked for ur acceptance.. and juz be there if i do fall.
no i dont need support yet as i can understand tt it's illogical.
yes u care. but y do i feel more detached...?
disappointed that pl's words changed frm that 7th mth dinner nite..
i rem u said there isnt exactly right or wrong when comes to love.
it juz happened sometimes w/o ourselves in ctrl. life is full of uncertainties,
so long we know what we are doing and be ready if the bad has to come.
and that u are in no position to comment much cos u are not us.
did u know hw much ur words consoled me and
made me feel so much better after so long?..
yet those were untrue.
like them, u couldnt accept. u are definitely not ok abt it.
im hurt that u all doubt his worth. yes i may be blinded.
who isnt when they are in love?
in fact, yday will push me more towards him for emotional support
cos u girls cldnt spare me some..
or rather the kind that i need.
he's wrong to hv betrayed. im wrong to hv accepted. we are wrong.
we are unforgivable sinners.
so? can the hurt be undone now?
well, u feel that at least i could be saved from further heartbreaking
if i stopped now? still, u are not me.
i will not give up till im convinced, till we have tried.
and no u cant assume that he will fail. u are not him.
yes i most probably would nt be able to escape from the insecurities.
that's another issue.
i chose this path. im already aware of the super high stake im placing.
i gotta face all consequences.
time.. emotions.. hw ppl look at me.. my lifetime happiness..
anw it's juz a big joke if i hv to consider abt her feelings now.
in fact im nt afraid of her, except her affecting my family.
at times, i really do wish i could just vanished. be away from here..
time will tell.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Let me clarify...
"there isnt exactly right or wrong when comes to love. it juz happened sometimes w/o ourselves in ctrl." -loves do happen w/o us noeing alot of times.theres no law for love so there wnt b right or wrong,but decision made does.mayb i'm a person who is more capable of controlling my mind.i'm a mind rule over heart person.but u r just e opposite.so decision made by e heart sometimes do turns out to b a big joke.
"life is full of uncertainties,
so long we know what we are doing and be ready if the bad has to come." -qns is do u really noe wat u r doing to urself? n r u really ready to take all e setback all by urself? from my understanding abt u,whenever u failed in r/s u suffered rather badly.u dont need to go thru this test to prove hw strong a person u r.
"u are in no position to comment much cos u are not us." - have mentioned alot of times on sat as well... think no one else can teach u wat to do cos u hv to decide for urself... as this is ur own life.n we r not u.even if we push ourselve in ur shoes,we dun have ur thinking n ur character,so we'll still reach diff conclusion too.
u dun have to act like an angel.u need no approval.cos social norms will not accept ur decision n u will not abide to e norms too.so y struggle to seek approval n conscent frm ppl ard u?y even bother hw ppl think of u or even vinc?y r u worry tt we 'dun like' vinc?theres no need to convince anyone rdg ur r/s.cos as u mentioned u n vinc dun give a damn.prove it to us.show us.thats wat u guys can do n its also wat u guys r goin to.
i'm totally taken back when u mentioned tt its a ridiculous idea to have to think for her.do u noe hw much damage u have caused another person to go thru?u may have said tt there can be another woman.but who on earth has e right to bring pain to another person?imagine tt ur dad is now havin an affair outside with another woman.hw wold u see him?hw would u feel for ur mum?u think she deserve this?she has all e right to stop u n vincz frm gettin together cos u destroyed her life happiness.its LIFE happiness ok.u see tt?wat if u swop places wif her?would u just sign on e dotted line n wish em blissful marriage?wake up!!!this is not goin to happen.
to put it in a very nasty way...these r all excuses created for mistakes made.everyone is good at giving excuses.but when an irreversible mistake is made do wat is possible to minimised loss or prevent further damage.
in all,u hv amazed me e power of love.but this decision of urs is never a 'cool idea'.its just a selfish act of love.
cherish urself.
well if she (my mum) thinks that she will be happier breaking them up and all.. then go ahead (just dont get more hurt herself).
and as u hv said, i dont hv to be an angel. love itself is selfish. everything is a choice. so what if it turns out to be a big joke? i chose it.
if everyone can think like u.. there wont be any breakups, divorces and infidelities. u cld nvr fathom humans. but im nt saying that everyone can do such a thing. and what's with social norms. i cant convince ppl, then i gotta accept it. and if u feel that i deserve to be treated the same in the end. so be it. i hv no right at all anw.
and pls, did i even wanna seek approval frm u gers now? im nt tt crazy to do that.
yes i did hope that u gers will nt loathe him as much. but well, since u are so clear now. then we have to let it be. i will take that down.
if u know 100% wad i've been thro, u will nt say stuffs abt the damage we've brought to her, considering her position etc.
nonetheless, u are forever free to express hw u feel.
Post a Comment