moodswing

they bought a cake for me today :)
and we had a not-so-yummy tomyam steamboat session.
dishes still unwashed.

didnt manage to talk to him much today.

hmm. realised some hard truths.
how much do words worth?
yea, im more naive than i thought.

so what made us come this far?
is it really l-o-v-e or me clinging on to him too much?
do i really want him to end things with her, so that he can be with me?
is that what he really want?
will i be okay if he couldnt do it?
how long more can i wait?
is he willing to go after me again if he did manage to settle things?

my heart feels cold and tired. he's not here with me.
im not happy at this moment.

mind says 'go away, let's not see each other again for the time being'.
heart knows i hv difficulty achieving the above.
if only im 潇洒 enough to leave this place.

sometimes i do wonder..
maybe, maybe u will remember me better if we could not be together afterall.
or perhaps im juz jealous of her?

the thought of Japan made me sad. but i really hope to visit it someday soon..
also hoping that going there for real & enjoying it will override that darn sadness.