Sunday, October 7, 2007

msn with mh (edited)

j says:
r u v disappointed after yday's meeting?

i says:
quite. sh knows too

j says:
i knew. i know u muz have hated it when i kept talking n talking abt it yday

i says:
it's impossible nt to be affected cos e 3 of u r so close to me

i says:
but of cos i can understand ur tots

j says:

but u give me e feeling tat we r gonna be quite distant bcos of this matt
i says:

thing is, can u all feel mine..?
j says:
i can n i know its not easy
j says:

it sEems like u have gone v deep into e r/s n u r v commited into it already.
j says:
since e situation cant be reversed anymore, would u like us to be by ur side, n there to protect u?

i says:

i will still be me.. dont worry... juz tt i may nt b able to pour out much rgd'g me n him..
i says:

yea all i need is that u gers will still be there
j says:

y? afraid tat we'll penalise him?
i says:
maybe? it juz feels weird.. if i talk abt the good things, u gers prob feel otherwise.. if i talked abt the bad, the only reaction u gers most prob will hv is y then i carry on

j says:
wat we can do is to get to know him perhaps? u may feel unfair tat we r passing -ve comments abt him e yday though we do not know him at all. but it's v natural for us to do so, cos we felt tat right fr e start he shd have clarified things properly with his ex, before bringing u into e pic.

i says:

i didnt deny that he did wrong
i says:

sure he's fine abt getting to know u gers
i says:

one thing for sure.. pls dont worry if u gers cant save me from possible hurt ok? like i said (quite many times. haha).. i juz need u all to be there loh.
j says:

let's put it this way -- as frens, we want e best for u. hearing abt his past makes us worried. but since u have already chosen this path, we also have to believe tat e choice u made is right, and we want to hear fr u tat e rs is working out well.
i says:
i really do understand hw u all feel. actually there's nothing best or no best.... if i didnt be with him.. can u all guarantee that i will nt be hurt by my nx guy (even though the new one doesnt has the same issue as him)?
i says:
and i confidently tell u that now, he's great in all aspects. very nice and protective yet nt overly. he hopes i will be more independent. and still grumbles abt my flaws.. esp. punctuality and untidiness and also my ignorance.. he's hot-tempered but cools down fast.. and he apologises.. and really making an effort to improve. most imptly, he takes gd care of me and makes me real amused, happy.
i says:

he doesnt smoke, gamble or drink (unless required due to work). he's very unique in my eyes. yea im smitten.
i says:
still our future is unknown.. it's up to him to make it happen

j says:

im glad to see those last 2 msgs.
j says:
really.

i says:

he's definitely nt the perfect guy ard.. but he's the one i want now (minus his current shitty status)
i says:

i dunno hw u gers can understand.. the bond b/w us is juz unexplainable.. u can almost imagine that it's impossible to feel the same with someone else.. or probably im daydreaming too much. haha
j says:

outsiders can never feel e bond. so i sort of can understand.
i says:
yep.. cos sure u and yz shares one too

j says:

im still worried of this 'shitty' status. i just hate it but i still wanna feel happy for u.
j says:

ive always said tat i cant imagine u being so strong this past 1 yr. i cant imagine if i were u. but if theres anything wrong, make sure u let us know ok?
i says:
think u shld know im nt a very strong person.. surviving this 1 year.. like i said, he ought to deserve some credit

i says:
actually im very risk-averse one... but he managed to make me willing to take this one
... :)

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